2 Nights in Atlanta
2 Nights on Fire Island
2 Nights in Chesterfield, MO
4 Runs earned by the St. Louis Cardinals at the game I went to at the new Busch Stadium
23 Songs bought on iTunes
1 Roommate who moved out
1 Roommate who moved in
4 Days it took to find new roommate, thanks to CraigsList and lessons learned from last year
1 Cat who moved out
1 Cat who passed away
1 Cat who moved in with roommate
-1 Net change in cat household
1 Cat who has stuck by me through it all
3 Freelance opportunities turned down (2 web and 1 sewing)
1 Interview for a television appearance
5 Seconds I was actually on TV
8 Things that did not go as planned in June, some for the better, some for the worse, some just different
2 Sunrises I saw
3 Trips to the beach
1 Party unlike any other I've been to before
3 Hours spent at the DMV
0 Driver's License I have
3 New coworkers in my department
1 New man who threw me for a loop
1 New man I threw for a loop
10 Days it took to get so loopy
1 Dog I'm an aunt to who appeared on Project Runway
7 Movies seen in the theater (An Inconvenient Truth, The Lake House, X-Men 3, Clerks 2, Pirates 2, Talladega Nights, Little Miss Sunshine)
2 Movies seen on a Hudson River pier (Wallace and Gromit, March of the Penguins)
1 Movie seen in Bryant Park (MASH)
14 Workouts at the gym
8 Pounds I've lost
3 Years I've lived in my apartment
12 Months I resigned my lease for
0 Dollars my landlord has raised my rent since I moved in
1 Friend who moved to Denver
3 Hours it took for novocaine from the periodontist to wear off
2 Friends I learned are pregnant
3 Friends total who are pregnant
4 Babies they're going to have between them
3 Hours experiencing Madonna in concert
13 On a scale of 10, how excited I am to go to Burning Man!!!

*May by the Numbers

It was 1:30 in the morning and I didn't know where else to go. I stood crying at the registration counter for a minute while a brown woman in a blue smock helped two women who had come in before me.

She showed me to the first exam room, and handed me a clipboard of forms. She'd written “DOA” on the top of my form. I've watched enough “ER” to know what that stands for. She told me to take as much time as I needed.

I wrote on the form that Donnie had been a gray male tabby cat, born in 2002.

An hour earlier, kneeling on my bedroom floor, I screamed, willing myself to wrap him in a colorful beach towel.

A nearly mute cab driver—my favorite kind, especially tonight—brought us here.

I lifted the handle of the shopping bag on the table (I didn't have a box that was big enough!) and looked inside. I cried harder as I noticed his pink nose had darkened.

I could see M walk in the front door from where I sat. He kneeled in front of me and I asked him how his trip to Philly had been. He gave me a half smile and a nod.

I thought of the other broad-shouldered blonde man in my life. Or is he in my life? He is. We've gotten ourselves so confused. But I thought of him anyway.

When I was ready (if I was ever going to be ready), we walked to the front and I told the woman that I was leaving.

“I'm so sorry for your loss,” she said.

M held my hand as I looked back at the bag on the table. He didn't let go as we stepped out into the comfortable night and walked uptown.