Last week, Stephanie Klein wrote about how insecurities are causing her to stress about her boyfriend's friendships with his exes. She writes about whether he should stop being friends with them and even whether she should stop being friends with her own exes, in order to spare one another's feelings. "It’s no way to live, to be distrustful," she writes. "I’m doing it to myself, and I want to stop."

This week, Ken Wheaton strongly recommends against being friends with exes, on the assumptions that someone in the relationship was mistreated and the breakup was painful. He writes that we have not matured past high school levels in this area. "Friendship is for chumps and suckers," he writes. "If you’re out of college, there’s no reason to go collecting friends of the opposite sex in the first place."

Karol writes to disagree with Ken. She says that she is friends with her exes. She writes that just because two people don't work as romantic partners, if the two get along and care about one another, there's no reason each can't fill other roles in one anothers' lives. Karol's commenters disagree, and imply that she is living in a "fantasy world where people act rationally in relationships, treat themselves right."

And in response to the response, Scott Cunning offers his own point of view. "Conflating 'being an adult' with 'staying friends' is like conflating immaturity with liking to feed ducks at the park," he writes. "The two have nothing to do with each other."

Are you friends with your exes? Is it possible to be friends with an ex? Is your partner friends with his or her exes? How do you feel about that? What are the underlying issues that prevent people from having friendships with exes? Can those issues be resolved?

Caryn: wanna hear something really sappy and cute?
Will: is it about puppies and kittens breeding to form a super pet, puttens?
Caryn: HAHAHAHAHA
Caryn: no, but that is awesome
Will: okay, what's it about?
Caryn: one year ago today, M & i had our first kiss ... awwwwwwww
Will: awwww
Will: now I want a putten
Caryn: ME TOO!

I Think There May Be Something Seriously Wrong With Me
I've loved Lola for a while now. She's just shared an incredible and personal story. [Part 1] [Part 2]

A Singular Man
I disagree with Scott a lot of the time, but he never fails to raise some really interesting issues about love and relationships.

Reza Mazaheri's Flickr Photostream
His photos are really beautiful. I discovered his pictures because I subscribed to the Flickr RSS feed for the tag 'jacksonheights.' Turns out that Reza lives across the street from me, and we even got to meet at the NYC Photobloggers show a few weeks ago.

The lights came up for intermission. I brought two of my favorite girlfriends with me to see SLUT The Musical. My eyes were still a little wet from the number about sailing the high seas on the HMS Donkey Balls, while the doctor healed Chinese children and the slut slept with Eskimo women.

“I’m mad at you,” one girlfriend said to the other.

That got our attention.

She continued, referencing a conversation we’d been having in our seats just before the show began. “I feel like you shut me down and didn’t let me have my moment—about going on Montel Williams—when you told us about your appearance on David Letterman.”

“I’m sorry,” my other girlfriend replied. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I just got the call about it today and hadn’t gotten to tell anyone about it yet and wanted to share it with you guys. Of course I’m excited about Montel. You’re going to be great!”

And all was well again.

These are the kinds of conversations my friends and I are having.

Several of us showed up at the NYC Photoblogger’s show New Work, New York to support our friend and coworker Matt Law. Well, that’s what we told him. We really just wanted the free booze.

I got into a conversation about men and women. And men and men.

“I’ve never dated a guy for more than six weeks,” he said exasperatedly.

“Me either!” I said. “Except—” I went on to bubble drunkenly about this ‘friends with benefits and we love each other to pieces’ … thing that’s been going on for some time now.

“I think what you have there—” he said and paused. I held my breath, hoping I wasn’t going to hear something that would make me regret letting loose my liquored lips to reveal myself as I just had.

“—Is a relationship.”

I smiled.

A relationship.

I suppose I could check the “It’s complicated” box on Friendster. Except that it isn’t.