I quit smoking* I just spent the last hour or so Photoshopping the Dalai Lama's head onto the bodies of blinged out rappers and pimps. And I wasn't goofing off; that was an actual work assignment.
Have I told you today that I love my job?
Photos
www.flickr.com
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I Had Bedbugs
Caryn's Bedbug Homepage
Pictures of Bedbug Bites
2004
Prologue: Bite Me!
Bedbug Diary 1
Bedbug Diary 2
Bedbug Diary 3
Bedbug Diary 4
Bedbug Diary 5
Bedbug Diary 6
Epilogue: I Said “Fuck� 7 Times in The New Yorker
2007
2004 vs 2007
OTHER RESOURCES
Bedbugger
The Bedbug Blog
Bedbugger Yahoo! Group
Wikipedia: Bedbugs
Pictures of Bedbug Bites
2004
Bedbug Diary 2
Bedbug Diary 3
Bedbug Diary 4
Bedbug Diary 5
Bedbug Diary 6
Epilogue: I Said “Fuck� 7 Times in The New Yorker
2007
OTHER RESOURCES
The Bedbug Blog
Bedbugger Yahoo! Group
Wikipedia: Bedbugs
About Caryn
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Blogs
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
14:09
|
Thursday, March 18, 2004
From: Trey{Sigh}
To: C
Subject: Blast From the Past
Hey there C,
Remember me? Just wanted to see if you wanted to chill sometime and see what develops.
-Trey
I haven't written him back yet. We went out a few times in December. He was nice, but I wasn't really feelin' it.
And I'm still not feelin' it. For anyone.
The Dating Hiatus continues, and I'm just not ready to go out again with a virtual stranger. It'll be a while still before I trust men. Which stinks. Brady said that's OK, as long as I'm working on it. I told her I wasn't sure I really was doing anything to “work on it.”
Anyone else out there lose trust in the opposite sex (or same sex, as the case may be)? Have any advice on how to get over it?
***
On the bight side, I just took a few stupid online quizzes. One was “Do you need a boyfriend now?” The result: “You are perfectly fine with your singlehood. In fact, you are enjoying almost every moment of it. You feel you do not need to be in a relationship now. You believe that when the right guy comes along, you just go with it.” Sounds about right.The other quiz was “Which of the Seven Dwarfs are you?”
I’m Happy.
21:55
|
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
Our daily editorial meeting was bigger than usual. The Editor in Chief invited in everyone, ad sales and tech, and started writing on the whiteboard.
He put the cap on the marker and put in back on the sill.
“These are the web sites that we beat to be finalists for the award.”
Cheers, clapping, hoorays! Smiles, exchanged glances with wide eyes. This is so exciting!
These are the Oscars of what we do. They will announce the winner at a big banquet in May. Our competition is incredibly stiff. We've got a few things on our side though: we have some of the largest coverage of one of this year's biggest and most controversial stories; and two of our toughest competitors, National Geographic (an awesome web site - go if you've never been) and Slate, have already won this award, which doesn't mean they can't win again, but ya nevah know what'll happen.
If you didn't already know, I f'n love my job.
Time.com, Newsweek.com, Sports Illustrated, The New Yorker, Fortune.com, Business Week, Parents, Rolling Stone, The Atlantic, Salon, US News & World Report, Forbes, Outside, VogueAn intriguing and excellent list of web sites, to be sure.
He put the cap on the marker and put in back on the sill.
“These are the web sites that we beat to be finalists for the award.”
Cheers, clapping, hoorays! Smiles, exchanged glances with wide eyes. This is so exciting!
These are the Oscars of what we do. They will announce the winner at a big banquet in May. Our competition is incredibly stiff. We've got a few things on our side though: we have some of the largest coverage of one of this year's biggest and most controversial stories; and two of our toughest competitors, National Geographic (an awesome web site - go if you've never been) and Slate, have already won this award, which doesn't mean they can't win again, but ya nevah know what'll happen.
If you didn't already know, I f'n love my job.
11:21
|
08:10
|
Monday, March 15, 2004
“It's very you. People will think
you've had it all along.” -Brady
“It suits you so well. I was thinking,
‘Didn't she always have it?’” -Dahlia
you've had it all along.” -Brady
“It suits you so well. I was thinking,
‘Didn't she always have it?’” -Dahlia
The girl behind the counter intimidated me. She had multi-colored dreadlocks down to her bum. Below a blunt fringe of black bangs, a tribal tattoo covered half her face. A black line ran down the other side of her face, past her eye down her cheek and neck and disappeared into her green sweater. She had more piercings in her face than I have fingers and toes. I think she looked kinda cool.
She’s gonna think I'm such an idiot when I tell her what I want, I thought. I’m such an amateur.
When she finished with the customers who came in before me, I told her what I wanted.
“Alright!” she said enthusiastically, pumping her fists in the air. I like her.
I signed the release, she gave me my instructions, and I paid my money.
I started jumping around a little bit. I was scared and ready. My stomach had been flippng and flopping with nervousness and excitement. On Brady’s advice, I made sure I ate before I came. “It’ll help keep your blood sugar even,” she said.
She came with me, to hold my hand, to be my friend. She’d been here before and highly recommended it.
The cool girl behind the counter shouted to some guys out on the front stoop. “Mikel! Piercing!”
Mikel strode in, strong and bold. His look was a lot like the counter girl’s: he had extra-long dreads held back with a rag, a face tattoo and a helluva lot of facial piercings.
I followed him into the sterile room and he snapped on a pair of rubber gloves. He told me exactly what he was going to do.
“I'm going to put a pen mark on your nose where I think it would look good. You’re gonna look at it in the mirror and tell me if you want it moved forward, back, up, down.”
He squatted in front of me and looked in my eyes. When not so distracted by his whole look, and I looked at his face, he was quite handsome. He put a black dot on my nose. We moved it around a bit and finally had one I liked.
“It’s not going to hurt,” Mikel said.
“I think you’re wrong,” I said presumptuously. “I think it is going to hurt.” This one’s going to be the worst one yet, I just know it. I’ve been pierced before. They didn’t really hurt, but I was sure this one would. It’s my face! It’s gotta hurt.
“Can I hold my friend’s hand?” I asked.
“Yeah, hold your friend’s hand,” he said.
I grabbed Brady’s hand and squeezed it hard before anything had even happened.
I saw the flash of a needle in the corner of my eye, but I didn’t get a good look at it. That’s a good thing.
“C, breathe,” Brady said. I breathed.
“It’ll take half a second,” Mikel said. “Ready? It’s done.”
Done? It's done? I didn't even feel it.
“Wow, that didn’t hurt at all,” I said, adrenaline rushing around my whole body, awash with relief.
“Why does no one ever believe me?” he smiled and tossed his gloves in the trashcan.
On my way out, I passed him a tip and said, “You are fantastic at what you do. Bye!”
Mikel and the counter girl both said and waved goodbye.
Brady and I bounded down the townhouse steps and into the sunshine. I could see a little sparkle on my nose in the corner of my vision. It was a fun day.
11:22
|
Sunday, March 14, 2004
* Well, that was one of the more fun weekends I've had in a long time, largely due to all the cool people I got to hang out with. On Friday night, I got to see my awesome cousin and his new girlfriend, as well as Brady and The Artist. Saturday, I hung out with Ari and got to meet the very-highly-talked-about Karol. We went to Ari's birthday party, where we met up with Deb, Alex, Dahlia, Sam, Doug, and the Señor—my Goober even stopped by later along with a gaggle of her cool pals. (Oh, and let's not forget the 21 year old coke dealer who tried picking up Ari and Goober. I think those two girls bonded a little in those moments.)
And not to mention the awesome and highly sucessful adventure I went on with Brady on Saturday. (Story to come.)
How was your weekend? I hope it was great.
And not to mention the awesome and highly sucessful adventure I went on with Brady on Saturday. (Story to come.)
How was your weekend? I hope it was great.
23:13
|
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
...4176.html"><img src="http://images.bel...
I got up from editing tonight's lead feature and headed for the cooler. As water splashed into my plastic cup, my mind wandered and I lightheartedly asked myself how I learned HTML.
It only took a minute before I remembered. And I remembered a lot more than I meant to.
HTML for Dummies. The day before Christmas. 1997. In the hospital.
The only thing I recognized about my little brother was that he was watching television. That's the Matthew I knew. Not the green-skinned 100lb. sack of bones—minus a foot of intestines—that was propped up in that hospital bed.
He was on his winter break from his freshman year at Syracuse University. He's afraid of doctors, so for him to have called my mother at work to tell her he had a stomach ache, it must have been serious.
But it wasn't appendicitis. It was a disease. A disease we'd never heard of. A disease with no known cause—and no known cure. We were all scared. My mother lost 20lb. that week from stress. My proud father held us all together. Relatives call my dad a rock.
I didn’t know what to do.
I read my new book, HTML for Dummies.
South Park had recently premiered. While Mom and Dad went to meetings with the doctors, I stayed with Matthew and tried to cheer him up with my lamest Cartman impressions. In case you didn't know, I don't do impressions. I don’t do voices, I don’t do accents (except for my own mockable Midwestern one). This was a rare performance—and it was for an audience of one and only one. I wanted so badly for my sallow-skinned best buddy to smile.
I had to find something new though. This South Park stuff had to stop. Laughing a few days after stomach surgery really isn't good, he told me. It hurt.
If I couldn’t make him laugh, how could I make him better?
I read my book, HTML for Dummies. Hyperlinks, images, tables. Logic, patterns, order.
A nurse brought him a tray of food. Matthew's the pickiest eater I know, so hospital food really wasn't his bag. He picked up what he thought was a pitcher of cold water and started to pour. Instead, boiling water spilled from the spout and onto his lap, scalding his tender skin and soaking all his bandages. I ran out into the hallway and yelped, "Help! Help!" in the direction of the nurse’s station, while my brother screamed in pain like I'd never heard. I’d forgotten that awful, unique sound. Until just now. Fuck.
The nurses, my parents and the visiting priest took a second to notice me, but soon were rushing down the hall. They crowded into the small hospital room. A lot of commotion, my parents concerned, the nurses pushing through mom and dad. They dashed off Matthew’s gown, and put towels in his lap. He was still screaming. He now had stitches and burns over his chest and stomach.
I slumped down to the floor against the wall in the hallway, away from it all, my hands pushing my damp hair back from my face. The young attractive priest came to check if I was OK.
I wanted to leave. We were spending Christmas in the hospital. Matthew weighed 100lb. He had less intestines now. This wasn’t right.
I read my book. It made sense.
HTML made sense. If it’s broken, it can be fixed. It can always be fixed. You can’t say that about everything.
I chugged my plastic cup of water and returned to my desk.
...lim.jpg" border="0" alt="Top Story"></a><br...
I got up from editing tonight's lead feature and headed for the cooler. As water splashed into my plastic cup, my mind wandered and I lightheartedly asked myself how I learned HTML.
It only took a minute before I remembered. And I remembered a lot more than I meant to.
HTML for Dummies. The day before Christmas. 1997. In the hospital.
The only thing I recognized about my little brother was that he was watching television. That's the Matthew I knew. Not the green-skinned 100lb. sack of bones—minus a foot of intestines—that was propped up in that hospital bed.
He was on his winter break from his freshman year at Syracuse University. He's afraid of doctors, so for him to have called my mother at work to tell her he had a stomach ache, it must have been serious.
But it wasn't appendicitis. It was a disease. A disease we'd never heard of. A disease with no known cause—and no known cure. We were all scared. My mother lost 20lb. that week from stress. My proud father held us all together. Relatives call my dad a rock.
I didn’t know what to do.
I read my new book, HTML for Dummies.
South Park had recently premiered. While Mom and Dad went to meetings with the doctors, I stayed with Matthew and tried to cheer him up with my lamest Cartman impressions. In case you didn't know, I don't do impressions. I don’t do voices, I don’t do accents (except for my own mockable Midwestern one). This was a rare performance—and it was for an audience of one and only one. I wanted so badly for my sallow-skinned best buddy to smile.
I had to find something new though. This South Park stuff had to stop. Laughing a few days after stomach surgery really isn't good, he told me. It hurt.
If I couldn’t make him laugh, how could I make him better?
I read my book, HTML for Dummies. Hyperlinks, images, tables. Logic, patterns, order.
A nurse brought him a tray of food. Matthew's the pickiest eater I know, so hospital food really wasn't his bag. He picked up what he thought was a pitcher of cold water and started to pour. Instead, boiling water spilled from the spout and onto his lap, scalding his tender skin and soaking all his bandages. I ran out into the hallway and yelped, "Help! Help!" in the direction of the nurse’s station, while my brother screamed in pain like I'd never heard. I’d forgotten that awful, unique sound. Until just now. Fuck.
The nurses, my parents and the visiting priest took a second to notice me, but soon were rushing down the hall. They crowded into the small hospital room. A lot of commotion, my parents concerned, the nurses pushing through mom and dad. They dashed off Matthew’s gown, and put towels in his lap. He was still screaming. He now had stitches and burns over his chest and stomach.
I slumped down to the floor against the wall in the hallway, away from it all, my hands pushing my damp hair back from my face. The young attractive priest came to check if I was OK.
I wanted to leave. We were spending Christmas in the hospital. Matthew weighed 100lb. He had less intestines now. This wasn’t right.
I read my book. It made sense.
HTML made sense. If it’s broken, it can be fixed. It can always be fixed. You can’t say that about everything.
I chugged my plastic cup of water and returned to my desk.
...lim.jpg" border="0" alt="Top Story"></a><br...
23:54
|
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
"Having a bottom is
living with the enemy.
Not only do they spend
their lives slowly inflating,
they flirt with men while
we're looking the other way." *
living with the enemy.
Not only do they spend
their lives slowly inflating,
they flirt with men while
we're looking the other way." *
10 Cool Things About Losing Weight
- Ditching the untucked button-down shirts for slim sweaters—and actually liking how you look in them!
- Having people ask, "Have you lost weight?" and being able to smile and answer, "Yes."
- Fantasizing about summer weekends at the lake house and not being embarassed to appear on the deck in a bikini (especially when sharing the space with that tall curly-haired law student with an an amazing body—and sparkling personality). Mmmm ... lake house ...
- You're not sucking it in—your tummy really is that flat!
- There's more cash in your pockets. Those evil ham, egg & cheese on a bagel sandwiches take their toll on the wallet and the thighs.
- Your jeans actually fit better fresh out of the dryer.
- Clearer skin because of all the water you've been drinking.
- Losing some weight and feeling good is great motivation to bust off those last five pounds.
- As a friend put it, "You worry less about giving [male friend] a hernia when he does squats with you and [female friend] on his back." Good point.
- Holding your head just a little higher as you walk down the street. And smiling much more often. :)
12:55
|
Sunday, March 07, 2004
It's a leisurely Sunday morning and I'm chatting with a robot. He's not that smart. He was telling me that I like hard rock and not Neil Diamond. He likes changing the subject when he doesn't know what he's talking about. He said he loved me deeply.
I wasn't impressed with this "artificial intelligence."
That is, until ...
* In truth, I've been sick in bed doped up on Dayquil and surrounded by a mountain of aloe-drenched tissues for most of the week. Defs not the club kid.
I wasn't impressed with this "artificial intelligence."
That is, until ...
Jabberwacky: How do you know that it is really a mountain.I take it back. What a genius! How'd he know I've been dancing my ass off in Palm Springs while strung out on Special K? Gotta be careful of this guy. He might also know about that opium den in Bombay. And with that Patriot Act, who knows who he'll rat me out to!
Me: Who said mountain?
Jabberwacky: I didn't say anything about your cats.
Me: Who said cats? You're not making sense. You're frustrating me.
Jabberwacky: *Sigh* This is what I get trying to talk to you after you've been at the White Party all weekend. Maybe we should wait for the K to wear off?
Me: Hahaha. You made a joke! Good one!
Jabberwacky: I made an assumption.
Me: Just don't tell anyone else.
* In truth, I've been sick in bed doped up on Dayquil and surrounded by a mountain of aloe-drenched tissues for most of the week. Defs not the club kid.
11:58
|
Friday, March 05, 2004
* Oh my gosh! You're not going to believe this. I'm watching Fox 5's morning show (I left the TV on when I finished my yoga videotape). They just did a story about teenagers drinking coffee (why? good for them? etc.). It's from a satellite Fox station (you could see different Fox logos on the microphones being used to interview the kids).
At first, I recognized the suburban shopping plaza where they'd stopped a few kids. That looks a lot like the grocery store my parents shop at ... in the Midwest ...
Then I looked closer at one of the kids' sweatshirts. Holy crap! He goes to my high school!
Flips to a shot of a girl in a school cafeteria/auditorium. That's my school!
They filmed kids in my school and my town—in Missouri! Fun way to start my morning.
At first, I recognized the suburban shopping plaza where they'd stopped a few kids. That looks a lot like the grocery store my parents shop at ... in the Midwest ...
Then I looked closer at one of the kids' sweatshirts. Holy crap! He goes to my high school!
Flips to a shot of a girl in a school cafeteria/auditorium. That's my school!
They filmed kids in my school and my town—in Missouri! Fun way to start my morning.
08:39
|
Thursday, March 04, 2004
07:07
|
Monday, March 01, 2004
- I am bad with my money.
- I seem to be unable to pay my bills on time and I don’t know how to balance my checkbook.
- I have a terrible credit rating.
- My dad is an accountant and professor of several graduate-level finance courses.
- My mom is director of operations of a financial planning firm.
- The money management gene must have skipped me.
- I have an addiction.
- I couldn’t honestly tell you it’s under control.
- I often name Fight Club as my favorite movie.
- I own over 200 movies.
- I love movies.
- I have one sibling, my brother who is a year and a half younger than me.
- He lives in Columbia, SC.
- I dearly love my two cats.
- My parents are unconditionally supportive of me and my dreams.
- I know I’m lucky to have such a good family.
- I am the 10th generation of my family to be born in the United States.
- I have cousins who are Cuban, Irish, Italian and Colombian.
- I don’t think there’s another person on this planet with the same name as me.
- I’ve only personally met two other girls with the same first name as me.
- I’ve never met anyone with the same last name as my family’s.
- I wear cheap clothes, shoes and handbags.
- I was raised Roman Catholic.
- I now consider myself an atheist.
- I still carry a St. Christopher’s medal.
- I am—and will always be—on a spiritual journey.
- I can sew, by hand and machine.
- I love coloring my own hair.
- My hair hasn’t been its natural color since I was 17.
- My hair’s natural color is medium brown.
- I like swimming, yoga and skiing.
- I am not a very adventurous eater, but I am getting much better about trying new things.
- I was in Times Square for New Year’s 2000.
- It was the best New Year’s I have ever had.
- I have been under general anesthesia three times in my life.
- The first time was for heart surgery when I was six years old.
- I still vividly remember the dream I had while I was under anesthesia.
- While in the hospital, down the hall from me was the first child who ever had a successful heart transplant. History was made. My mom and I saw TV cameras go past my door toward his room.
- If I hadn’t had that operation, by this age I would be dying or dead.
- But don’t worry. I’m fine and have a very healthy heart.
- The second time I was under anesthesia was for having my wisdom teeth taken out.
- That was uneventful and I had no complications.
- The third time I was under anesthesia was for knee surgery.
- The accident that led me to need that knee surgery ranks as one of my most embarrassing moments ever.
- I found myself alone in the middle of a basketball court, crying, and two thousand people were laughing at me from the stands.
- I was in physical therapy for over three months.
- Physical therapy made me hate the Stairmaster. I haven’t been on one since.
- I was born in 1978.
- I am a Capricorn.
- I’m left-handed.
- Lots of people call me by my last name. I like that.
- I started smoking in October 1997. I quit smoking in January 2005.
- I'm not one for signs, but before each of my piercings, I waited for two signs that I should do it before I actually did.
- I have no best friend.
- But I do have several friends I don’t hesitate to call “amazing.”
- I think my driver’s license is suspended.
- I once had one of those cool dot-com jobs where we had free food, free booze, wireless laptops and a 19th floor Times Square balcony.
- I was laid off from that job.
- I worked at an education company, which I did not like. Then I went a web site that I really loved, but paid shit.
- There, I wrote an inspirational email newsletter that reached 2.5 million subscribers, seven days a week. I found that pretty thrilling.
- I currently work for the dot-com that was cool and laid me off. We have made peace.
- Now I write a daily newsletter that reaches about half a million people. It's fun because I get to write about whatever I want. Sometimes I don't feel so inspirational.
- I fidget.
- I have subscriptions to Time, Time Out New York, and Budget Living magazines.
- A unanimous decision by judges declared me winner of a Best Ass contest.
- The panel of three judges was blindfolded and made their decisions by feel alone.
- I was prop mistress for my high school’s production of South Pacific.
- I like being behind the scenes.
- I love New York.
- I spend a good amount of time alone.
- For a long time, my dream job was to be manager of a luxury hotel.
- I used to be very afraid of sex.
- I have been taken advantage of, sexually, several times.
- I blame myself for those incidents.
- Those experiences certainly didn't help me get over my fear of sex.
- I'm not afraid of sex anymore. Quite the opposite.
- I drink too much soda.
- I am short.
- I regularly get hit in the head with elbows and backpacks because people don’t see me standing there.
- I love big, tall men.
- You wouldn’t notice me in a room full of people.
- I’m invisible.
- I like being invisible.
- I like being a small fish in a big pond.
- When I moved to New York City over four years ago, I didn’t know anyone here except my godfather.
- He lives on Central Park West in the same building as Jerry Seinfeld.
- I don’t know my godfather well and would be uncomfortable asking him for help, though I know I could if I really had to.
- I’ve seen him once in the last four years.
- I have a bad complexion.
- I have stage fright.
- I once read a poem I wrote at an open mic in front of about 100 people.
- I was glad I did it, but I don’t think I’ll ever again.
- I’ve been to 38 states and eight foreign countries.
- I have freckles.
- I hate my freckles.
- I have been online since 1993.
- I have been blogging since 2001.
- I learn new things every day.
- I am one-of-a-kind.
- I love life.
Updated: April 8, 2005
02:56
|