This week, there are a lot of uncertainties: my health, jury duty, the weather, conflicting TV schedules. Oh, the stress.
What to do? Consult The Magic 8 Ball, of course.
Do I have allergies?
VERY DOUBTFUL
Do I have a lung infection?
IT IS DECIDEDLY SO
Is a body rash the new look for summer?
DON'T COUNT ON IT
Do I really need to be taking steriods to get rid of said rash?
AS I SEE IT, YES
Was that too much information?
WITHOUT A DOUBT
Will these "spot thunderstorms" ruin
the Mets vs. Cardinals game tonight?
REPLY HAZY, TRY AGAIN
Will a lung infection keep me from Shea Stadium?
MY SOURCES SAY NO
Should I tape 24 or Colonial House tonight?
CONCENTRATE AND ASK AGAIN
Will Jack Bauer save the world again, blah blah blah?
YES
Will Colonial House's Paul Hunt be taking his shirt off again?
YES DEFINITELY
Colonial House it is.
Do I have jury duty tomorrow?
IT IS CERTAIN
Will I be picked for a jury?
ASK AGAIN LATER
Gah!
Did I leave my cell phone charger in Boston?
MOST LIKELY
Is it possible to be even more broke than I am now?
BETTER NOT TELL YOU NOW
Damn you, 8 Ball.
This is kind of a shitty week, isn't it?
CANNOT PREDICT NOW
That's the spirit! It is only Tuesday, after all. Gotta keep a positive attitude, ya know?
OUTLOOK GOOD

I quit smoking




